I should be studying....

I have been studying hard core this weekend as I close in on Finals. Before I can even take my finals I still have a couple tests in A&P, a math test and a music test. Those 4 tests (pre-finals) all happen within 3 days...starting tomorrow.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

So here is where I am. A sudden inspiration to blog. 

Should I be taking a break? 

Yes. I'm posting a blog and taking a momentary break from learning about spermatozoa and oocytes. :) 

Here's what inspired me....I accidentally clicked on the FB app on my ipad...which led me to the news feed which led me to a picture of my long-time-child-hood best friend, Tabitha. I've talked about her before. 

My eyes flooded with tears as I looked at a picture of her and her hubby. She looks so happy!! I miss her. All. The.Time.

Tabi and I were sister soul mates when we were younger and even though time has tried so hard to keep us apart....all these many moons later we are able to re-connect.....well, kind of anyway. 

I'm a horrible communicator for one. Since school - my "Stay in touch" ability has only increasingly lacked. I don't know when it became - that I could no longer possess the ability to be the great friend and social butterfly that I was for the majority of my life. 

Have I reverted back to being a terribly shy eight year old?

No. I know why. But this blog is not the time to talk about it.

Where am I going with this? I am soooo losing my train of thought.

Tabi. A friend who is a friend forever. I mean it. 

I saw this picture of her and her hubby and it just made me miss her all the more. 

I have been watching, "What About Brian"...a show that is truly about friendship - with a lot of other twists and turns....but that's not the point. The point is that i am STARVING for what the characters of that show have.

I had that once and it's been a long, long, long time since I have been able to find what I lost when it comes to friendships.

Tabi and I were tied at the hip - we did EVERYTHING together. We had this relationship that was a true bond of sisterhood. It was deep, meaningful and I never remember longing for what I find myself longing for this very day.

Real friendship. True and deep friendship to the core.

I have been neglectful of my friendships and I am very sorry for it. 

Since school started I have made new friends, of course, but there is no meaning deep enough with these friends to fulfill the longing inside of me to have (once again) what I had with Tabi (And many many other friends) in the past. 

Okay, I get it! Gotta move forward with life...right? I'm not trying to dwell on the past....I'm trying to remember how to get back to the point where I can, again, have the friendships that I need and want to have in my life.

Whoa...so serious today. I know, I know. 

It's rainy and dark out - reminds me of Portland.

A lot going through my head today....

Now back to studying the Human and Fetal Pig reproductive system.

:::Question::::

Who is your most treasured child hood friend?

Peace 'n' love,

Michelle